I laughed. I cried. I questioned whether my lava lamp was trying to unionize.

You’ve captured the experience so perfectly I’m convinced you are Jenny Sizzler, sent here on a mission from Jah (or at least from the Portland Parks & Rec Department’s parole division). Your blend of stoner theology, mirror-magic, and spiritual Funyun-flavored introspection was exactly what I didn’t know I needed.

Also, shoutout to Lionel Hutz — truly the only lawyer qualified to defend whatever the hell just happened. I think he sold my identity to a guy named Randy who now owns my car and my aura.

Jah Provides. So do you. Thank you.

Pants: still discouraged,