Jimmy...

Yeah dad?

The folks over at phish.net didn't mention you and Harpua in their diagram of songs about boys. Is there anything I should know?

Of course not, Dad.

Is this about the goldfish, Jimmy? Have you been parading around as a girl again because you're still mad about the fish?

Fuck off dad, the fish isn't even cool anymore. They mailed it in at jazzfest, didn't give me a new year's gag, and I never got my goddamned allman brothers on Halloween.

Well Jimmy you dressed in drag for Halloween, maybe the band is mad at you like me and your mother.

I'm not a boy anymore, dad. I'm a man and I can dress like middle-aged cooze if I want to. God never listens to this shit anyways. There's nothing wrong with it; this is America dammit.

Jimmy, your mother is going to wash the feces right out of your mouth when she gets home. She's upset already as it is, she gave all her friends AIDS driving them to the bridge game last week.