Phish.net > Charts > Narration Chart: "Harpua", 1990-03-11

TREY: Ah, it wasn’t very long ago, not very far away, in the outskirts of town, whence walked a mean old dog. A mean, ugly bulldog walked around the outskirts of town. And this mean and ugly bulldog would walk around the outskirts of town looking for some fun, looking for a good time. And of course his idea of a good time was finding a nice, big, juicy, furry, hunk of lunch.

So, this one day he was walking along, looking for a little action, and nothing much was going at the outskirts of town. So, at this point in time he decided, he decided to... to venture away from the outskirts of town... into some new territory. He searched high, and she searched low. He looked hither and beyond. He looked here and he looked there. And he wasn’t having very much luck so he decided to venture into previously uncharted lunch territory.

Meanwhile, in the previously uncharted lunch territory, sat a young boy in his suburban middle-class home. There he sat, listening to his stereo, sitting on the couch when his friend and lifelong companion… He sat on the couch, listening to his stereo. And his name was Jimmy. [“Fire” is played with what sounds like Fishman yelling “Move over closer!”]

Jimmy. So he looked down… He sat, listening to his stereo, he looked down and looked at his favorite, best, closest friend and lifelong companion. His little pussycat sitting next to him on the couch and he said, he said “Little kitty-cat, this is Jimmy talking to ya, move over…”

FISH: Move over Poster.

TREY: “Move over kitty, uh… Excuse me.” So, uh, he looked down and the cat looked at him with a quizzical look and said “Jimmy, it’s time for me to take a little walk.” So, the cat got up and goes to go over to the door and Jimmy got up and opened the door and said “Goodbye little kitty, have a nice walk.”

And the cat walked out the door and he walked high and he walked low and he walked hither and thither. When suddenly he rounded the corner into what the people from the town, the townsfolk knew as unchartered lunch territory, Yes, he walked into unchartered lunch territory and he walked around the corner and in front of him he saw the mean, ugly bulldog who looks back at him and said “I know you! You’re no normal cat. You belong to Jimmy! And that’s why the townsfolk call you... That’s why O MY GOD. That’s why I… You’re no ordinary cat. Your name is not an ordinary name. Oh my God! Your name, your name, your name, your name, your name… [Trey starts screaming and yelling.] Poster Nutbag.

Harpua looked at Poster Nutbag, and he started to get hungry and he growled and he went forward and he began to sink his vicious teeth into his kitty, furry ass. Harpua arched his body into a deadly arch but it was too late. The fight had begun. Vicious drops of saliva dripped from Harpua’s hungry mouth onto the cement below.

Look, the storm’s gone...