Red Light is shooting itself in the foot by overscheduling the northeast and ignoring its fanbase in the south and west ... If I had to pick one first-set closer to see at every show, I would choose "David Bowie" ... Let's be honest, gang, the majority of the bustout covers during summer '98 were not well rehearsed ... My favorite guest appearance at a Phish show would have to be Baby Gramps on 8/26/93 ... Fishman played better in the suit ... The art for sale in the lots, particularly the beadwork, has never been better ...

The narrations in "Forbin/Mockingbird" are always great, but for my money, nothing beats the narration during "Icculus."

I was never comfortable with the rape imagery in "Jennifer Dances" ... Maybe I'm crazy, but Vladimir Putin is a man I would trust to chaperone my daughter ... Pound for pound, no Phish song has delivered as consistently across all eras as "Bathtub Gin" ... Speaking of "Bathtub Gin," although I concede the Ventura "Gin" was a tremendous show opener, the Riverport "Gin" a week later was without question the best show opener of all time ... Riverport Ampitheater was the St. Louis-area venue where they arrested Axl Rose for assaulting a security guard ... "Waste" is a horrible lyric, but "Friday" is perhaps the single worst lyric in the history of music ... Personally, I never clap during "Stash." I find it demeaning ... The best thing Phish ever did was losing showboat percussionist Marc Daubert ...

Many Americans first grew to love Phish through the novel Run Like an Antelope ... Have you noticed that, in horror films, where there's a hippie character, he generally dies? ... Mike Gordon has tremendous calves ... I cannot be held responsible for my actions if I hear another "Loving Cup" encore ... I am fairly certain the cheesesteak I enjoyed after the third show at Bethel Woods contained neither cheese nor steak ...

Somebody needs to tell the kids sucking balloons after shows, it's just not smart, gang ... The most courteous staff I have ever dealt with at any venue were the fine people at Alpine Valley Music Center in East Troy, Wisconsin ... If you go behind the 200 section Fishman side in Alpharetta, they have a dog track with all the amenities ... The people who feel "Tweezer" peaked in 1994 and 1995 are wrong; I believe "Tweezer" has yet to peak ... The men's basketball team at Goddard College is shockingly bad ... I'm concerned that keyboard player Page McConnell is going bald.

Larry King is a retired broadcasting legend who lives in the Atlanta, Georgia metro area. He has seen 133 Phish shows since his first show at the Pickle Barrel in Killington, VT on 2/7/91. His favorite jam is the GSAC Drowned -> Rock & Roll, just like yours should be. He enjoys smoked whitefish with capers and regular, vigorous prostate massage.

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